Every salesman with some experience under their belt will tell you the secret to pushing a product is not the product, but the story. If you want to sway opinion, you never do it on the merits of the product. It’s all about the history, the romance, the mystery.

Pay a bit of attention to the promotion of politics, religion and relationships and you’ll see “The Story” played wherever there’s no clear-cut advantage to a position or issue – and often if there is. People are interviewed for jobs because they’re looking for the story behind the facts on your resume. Biographies sell so well no matter how shallow because people are looking to fill in the story behind the person.

Sometimes the story is implied. There’s nothing to a event t-shirt to make it any more desirable than your basic cotton undershirt that comes 3 to a pack. But you wear the logo proudly because of the story people assume is behind it.

Storytelling is an art, and at the same time a very effective tool that can be applied to a lot of situations. The right story is only effective to its particular situation, so it’s difficult to come up with general examples. Here’s a very specific one which you can hopefully catch the vibe and apply to your own situations:

Ex: the Gift

You are a little concerned about delivering your significant other a piece of jewelry, when you really think they’re expecting more. Give a story instead. Start with some cheerful (as in, don’t sound like you’re complaining), humorous descriptions of fighting the traffic and other shoppers and work in how long you agonized over just the right gift to find, because ordinary was just not good enough for them. Explain how you were looking for something really exotic that no one else would have and that as this gift caught your eye, all you could think about was how the blue in it was such a great match for the color of their eyes, and that the salesperson talked about how it was made by hand by a family in Hong Kong and each one was completely unique, and you just couldn’t get out of your head how this beautiful, unique piece of art was just like the beautiful, unique person they are. Comes across a lot better than a pendant in a “happy birthday” gift bag.

I’m certainly not suggesting you lie or misrepresent yourself to make things look better. You want to stay rooted in the truth. But a lot of things go on in your life to prompt actions that you may not immediately realize. Something about the gift you chose reminded you of the person receiving it. Something happened in your life to bring about the achievements you’ve put under your belt. Something happened to influence you to make a deicsion. In many cases, it’s just a matter of thinking it over and understanding why you made the choices you did. And most of the time, there’s a somewhat compelling story around those shallow facts.

People are drawn to stories. We love to tell them and we love to hear them. And the older you get, the more valuable we find them. We tend to save them for social occasions among our closest friends, but they’re applicable in so many situations. The story is usually the difference in whether or not someone cares about an outcome; at the least, it’s a prime mover. It’s the heart that’s injected into the cold facts.

The flip side to this is receiving a story. Nothing is more disheartening than pouring out your story to an uninterested recipient. It’s a subtle statement that says that the other person’s experiences are not valuable, or that you just don’t want to seek a greater degree of friendship with them. However, you can often bridge this gap if you can get them to tell a story of their own, that you can relate to a similar incident in your life. It takes a sharp mind and a lot of thinking on your feet, but it can really be effective.

One of my job interview tricks was always to scope out the interviewer’s office space for pictures of themselves. If someone displays publicly a picture of themselves at a location, or with a prize or the like, you can be pretty sure a story along similar lines that opens the door for them to tell you their story will result in a great experience for both of you. If they held it in a generic conference room, I always asked if it was too much trouble to see the workplace. Once you’re walking their inner sanctums, you will come across a world of opportunities to spin tales. And if you had a somewhat stuffy interviewer, the more casual setting of walking the premises will often get them to open up a bit.

So in a nutshell:

  • Tell a story to sell someone on your opinion, your offering or yourself.
  • Be sensitive to signs of disinterest, and give them the chance to offer their own story.
  • Listen to other people’s stories to endear yourself to them.

These are basic life skills. Everyone applies them socially, and often unconsciously. Apply them with purpose and you’ll be amazed what you can achieve.