“A string of excited, fugitive, miscellaneous pleasures is not happiness; happiness resides in imaginative reflection and judgment, when the picture of one’s life, or of human life, as it truly has been or is, satisfies the will, and is gladly accepted.” George Santayana
One of the hardest lessons for people to learn is the distinction between happiness and pleasure. Many go their whole lives without making the differentiation. Solomon dedicated the whole book of Ecclesiastes to it. At any point in history there are marked examples in humanity of those who seem to have it all and find no satisfaction in it.
Happiness and pleasure aren’t the same things. If forced to define it, I’d say pleasure is the result of something you do; happiness, the result of something you are.
Pleasure is the joy of a cold lemonade on a hot day. The intense experiences of sexuality. The high of a drug. The adulation of the crowd. It’s something you do, or take, or experience that makes a moment in time a little more joyful.
Happiness is more of a state of contentment. Happiness is understanding your reputation is paramount. Seeing your children and knowing the part you’ve played in their development. It’s taking a snapshot of your life and knowing you want to reproduce it. It’s an earned satisfaction that validates you as a person and your life as worthy and acceptable.
Of course, the two often intertwine. The immediate act of pleasure in performing an act of charity is validated over the long term. It feels good while you’re doing it, it’s something you can be proud of, and it contributes to your being a better person.
On the other hand, a lot of people make the mistake of embracing activities that really aren’t valuable in the long term just for the quick high. Drug/alcohol abuse is an obvious. Abuse of sexuality is another. Pursuing superiority in material possessions, positions of power, popularity and other shallow pursuits often contribute to making yourself something you can’t be proud of; a person you’re not satisfied with.
It seems so cut and dried on paper, but in real life it’s often hard to see the difference. Pursuing wealth definitely satisfies the quick ego fix, but what about long term? Are you doing this to secure a financial future for your loved ones? Whose respect are you attempting to cultivate? Is a solid material foundation a fair trade for the time away from family? The answers aren’t always evident. And no one can answer the question for you definitively. Despite all the advice, you have to make it yourself.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from Steven Covey, who encourages you in “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” to imagine the scene at your funeral. What do you want to be said about you? It’s a bid morbid, but that picture visualized eliminates the pleasure principle from the question -> you can’t really experience pleasure at that point. What kind of person do you want to be remembered as? What kind of life is truly valuable and worthwhile?
Live in a way that you can be happy with the results.
